Adventures in Babysitting

When will I ever be able to relax?! Last night was our second night out without the boys and the first time we left them with a babysitter. Jon teaches with a woman who has five year old twins and she has been begging for us to let her watch the boys. Apparently when your twins grow up you miss them being crying, fussing, spitting, pooping babies... seriously?! So I drove the boys up to Jon's school yesterday afternoon. We watched about a half an hour of the dress rehearsal for the school play, and then drove them over to her house. I only had a mild panic attack on the way. Mind you, I don't even know who this woman is! But for some reason I figured if she lived through twins (and the kids lived too)... she could probably handle ours for an hour or two, right?? Jon had to shove me out the door, but we left and went to dinner downtown. It was so nice to be out with Jon, but so hard to be away from the boys. For the first 3/4 of dinner I was a nervous wreck. Then for the last 1/4 I started to feel all proud, like I had done something amazing by leaving my kids for two hours! When will I be able to leave them and TRULY enjoy my time away? I know I need breaks every now and then or I'll really go nuts (I know, I know) but its not like I can even enjoy myself when I get the chance. I am bound and determined to figure this out before I have to go back to Houston in July... this time I will enjoy every minute of it and not cry myself to sleep at night. I've got some serious practicing to do.